We know what’s COMING

Recently, one of my friend asked me, “How can we attend the meeting at 8 in the morning day after tomorrow? I don’t think it will be possible.’ She was referring to a meeting of our community group and the reason for her concern was because she was throwing the annual Diwali party the next day and it would go on till late night.

I told her that its possible to get up early even if it gets late to sleep and maybe catch a nap in the afternoon since we are not working due to Diwali holidays. Subsequently, on the day of the meeting, I made it but she didn’t. Somewhere, I was sure from the beginning that I would attend whereas even she was sure (of not attending) and concerned.

Sometimes we label ourselves and some of our friends as being intuitive whereas the fact is all of us are. Again, it may vary from person to person due to not being present and not acknowledging this quality, but the fact remains that all of us are. My friend that I mentioned, “admits” she isn’t, while I acknowledge this quality in me. If my friend isn’t , how did she knew before hand that she couldn’t make it for the meeting ? Somewhere, she knew about it and that led to her concern – she knew what was COMING.

Everybody of us, everyday knows what may happen but the difference lies in realising it as it is. The mistake that we make is getting emotional about it. While its good to wish for a student to for instance pass and get good marks his exams. But somewhere he knows the outcome of what he has written. When we do not acknowledge this, we are surprised and try to rationalise it. This could be an unending process but the truth is known by us. Actually rationalising is according to me is how we kill this inherent quality of human beings.

The reason why we like a person as a friend, employee, boss, life partner is because we like him-that’s it. There is no need to rationalise it by saying that since he/she has this quality, qualification etc. In any situation it is important to consult your ownself before asking others without being in a hurry to conclude. This is true of understanding people, taking business decisions, buying products, taking a marriage decision-whatever. If and when we realise this quality, we can truly enjoy decision making and more importantly that its so simple and easy!

Life is all about COPY PASTE

Have you noticed whatever we do during the day,the things we buy,people things we like or dislike, food that we eat-almost everything is nothing but a set pattern. We are constantly doing things that we have done in the past and its sheer duplication. Its no coincidence that when you see a person you immediately start liking or disliking him/her and this happens within a short time even before you have known him/her for a longer time. That instant like or repugnance is nothing but something that reminds you of a similar person that you may have met in the past. Ans its not just about looks but also how he talks,walks, moves- everything. Our mind is so sharp that it records every minute details in the formative years and stores in our memory. Later it just refers and correlates that detail to the person we meet or things that we evaluate or buy.If you look at your wardrobe you will find similar types of clothes-in style, colour, pattern. We spend so much time shopping for the "perfect" item but if you notice it was a similar type you always buy.

For example-When I was small, I had a T-shirt on which was written "Happy".Now,everyone who met me used to say-Hey happy how are you?That irritated me to no end. After that I decided not to wear T-shirts which has anything written on it and conequently when I went to a store I always looked for plain T-shirts.

Again, whenever we went out with Mom and Dad, I used to ask for chocolates or snacks that were kept in stores. They never gave me saying it werent good for health. I grew up being a health freak and today carefully consider whatever I eat!

So why does this happen? In the formative years, we tend to relate everything to feelings that we have even now. Except then you paste labels, categorise with various feelings. It may also be associate with an event which was pleasant or unpleasant.

But those are things that are stored as future reference for our entire life. And what we are doing now is just COPY&;PASTE.

Can this change? Of course, with being aware and trying to be present to the other person, not validating or invalidating immediately, refraining from instant judgements are simple tools to do it. However, its not bad to follow the pattern we have formed. But that restricts our view of life and at a deeper level, limits our potential.

So the next time you like or dislike something/someone, give it a rethink!

Is there a WOMAN in a MAN?

Why is there a variation in the emotions of men....well,women have them too but lets talk of men first.
On one hand, we know of some our friends being very good listeners,whom we can share our thoughts to, they understand how we feel and on the other hand there are those who are rational, think logic all the time and sometimes appear heartless!

So there are different men with a varying set of minds or lets say emotions. Those with an apparent set of emotions have a 'woman" in them. There could be those who may shy from displaying their emotional part; they also fall in this category. I am not suggesting that they are effeminate but being compassionate or caring is a typical womanly trait and only those who have it in them are so.

This category of people also are fond of cooking, good at art, can be good counselors and excellent at creative things.On the flip side being too caring etc. can be something that people may take you on a ride. So too much is not too good!

How many times have you noticed those 'rational" types being good painters, keenly listening to your problems and giving you a piece of real genuine advice? I reckon, rarely! However, the ability to take tough decisions,sometimes being ruthless, thinking objectively, being business oriented are traits of this type of an individual- a 'man"

There is no doubt that those having a mix of the "woman" and "man" in somewhat equal measure can lead one to success in various professions expecially those at the helm and decision making in organisations, business, government and of course family!

So what do you feel you are?

What is the DNA of Entreprenuers?

There is no doubt that those who start new ventures are of a different species. Over a period of time, I have seen those who are of this breed think differently, perceive things in a different manner,act differently,maybe even walk differently ( haven't done research on this,though!). There is nothing good or bad about it. Its just distinct.

I would again like to specifically mention that those who start radical ventures or something thats innovative maybe a breakthrough idea fall into this league more than the other startups. And when I mean entrepreneurs, I mean those that introduce an out of the world proposition or those who tweak an existing concept/idea/system to again create an innovation.

I would like to correlate this to the Hindu religion and its Gods. Lord Brahma is said to be "The Creator" and Lord Shiva -"The Destroyer".

Those who 'create' ideas/venture have an influence of Lord Brahma on them and therefore act in this fashion. I am sure like the temples of Brahma on this planet, even this set of human beings in rare. Obviously, people who work for others and/or are doing a job are in majority.

Those who get influenced by Brahma may decide to call it day if they are working for someone and start something on their own. But again very few dare to do it- again a minority.

There is another set of individuals who create a product and systematically disintegrate it after doing so.These are influenced by the Destroyer-Lord Shiva. Take the case of Sony. After developing a product amidst secrecy and till the time it introduces it into the market, it already begins the task of destroying the technology or maybe upgrading it before the competition catches on the old one. I feel even those who develop a product/concept and later maybe sell of their idea to a VC or other company fall in this category of "Destroyers".

Any thoughts?

DNA of men and women

So whats the love quotient of men and women and what do they like about each other?
Did you know women are born to give and men to receive? Right from the time a woman "delivers", thats a point in her life where she starts "giving" more than she has done for anyone else. Even more than the father of the child,her parents,siblings . There would rarely be a woman who wouldn't want to be a mother at some point in her life. That stems from the natural instinct to 'give" and its to her child that she can, all she has.
Men are different. They want to have and are meant to receive.
Right from possessing physical objects,love,sex,power,money they simply desire to have it all. When it comes to having love, men like to simply cuddle in the arms of a woman and interestingly sees a woman as a mother or someone from whom he can derive what he wants.The perfect interplay of emotions is visible between a "giver" and "receiver" when a man and woman are together. Its very evident for anyone to notice who is what. Men are smart, they may even make tactical alterations to please a woman and that he wants to "give' when actually he wants to "receive". Its very normal to see men floored by a beautiful woman and dance to her tunes in order to make love to her.
Whereas a woman infinitesimally can give all her life, men are the same when it comes to getting.

Life in TRANSIT

When we are in the process of doing anything right from the time we get up in the morning,to getting ready for work, travelling to work,shopping,having food,watching TV,reading a book-anything, there is a strange rush to complete it. There is a haste, an urgency to finish it. In fact, this process is unending and like a switch thats turned on since morning , continues unabated till the time we go to sleep-till this switch is turned off.

Let me try and explain with some examples- lets assume that we are standing in a queue, how many of us can claim to enjoy this "journey"? According to the theory of waiting, we always feel that the other queue is moving faster than mine. The funny part is that no matter even if we have all the time in the world, this anxiety never reduces. Why does this happen?

When we are in a restaurant, we feel that the Captain is taking too long to take our order and later, longer to get the food.
There is no end to the irritation of waiting for someone if there is a meeting scheduled at a particular time.During a flight, the journey seems never ending and worse if the Pilot isn't getting permission to land over the destination, thats nothing but torture.

So right from the time we get up till the time we sleep, we are in a " process" or what I call TRANSIT. Till the time we do not reach its ultimate and perceived aim/goal or climax this process leads to impatience,anxiety and frustration.
So standing in queues, waiting for your order in a restaurant, moving from one destination to another--all of these are very rarely enjoyable 'processes" under normal circumstances.
The degree of these emotions may vary from person to person and/or there may be different points of tolerance. For example, in a restaurant, Mr.X may get annoyed after a delay of 10 minutes while it may take 20 minutes for Mr.Y.
Worse, there is a chance that Mr.Y has pent up emotions which may be more 'expressive" than Mr. Y!

One of the reasons that could differentiate one person form another is who can withstand this torment of transit for a longer time by embracing the time being taken. What I mean is that there is a purpose to why there is a delay. If we understand that the universe moves in a symphony and that we all are players, every element moves in synchronization and that each of our activities are dependent on each other. The so called 'delay" is for our own good and the only thing we should be doing is to embrace it. Believe me, those who embrace it in real terms can get miraculous results during THAT TIME.

For example, if you are on your job, a sales job and your two appointments are scheduled at 11 am and 2 pm. Considering you are in a distant place, what would you typically do if the appointment of 11 is canceled especially when you had to get up at 5 am to reach that place and find that it was all in vain? Now the clock starts-about your life in TRANSIT. Your next appointment is at 2 and you have all the time in the world to do, actually nothing. Its very normal to feel frustrated,annoyed and blame everybody from your client to your luck for this f%$ up. Now is the time to get miracles-actually. This is the opportunity! If you just thank the circumstances that well, good that the appointment was canceled and there is definitely something better thats in store for you, life will take a dramatic turn--try it. You may get ideas that are out of the world,maybe revolutionary,a breakthrough innovation. You may even meet someone who can probably give you or lead you to someone to a bigger or better business than the client who canceled the meeting. You may even begin to love someone more than ever or there may be a grand realization of your errors mistakes or follies with friends. All this happens but it takes a lot of struggle. But the results are equally amazing. It may take some time to put into practice but its worth it.

So what would you do next time you are in TRANSIT?